


Alternative ending to 15/19

by Sineadfitz72



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sineadfitz72/pseuds/Sineadfitz72
Summary: What really happened after Jack left them
Kudos: 1





	Alternative ending to 15/19

Alternative ending for Supernatural.

This takes place after 15/19.

We arrived back at the bunker completely drained. The last couple of hours have been an emotional and physical tsunami. Hell, the last year.

I sink into a chair at the map table. I hear the clink of glasses as Sam pours us some Bourbon. A very well-deserved Bourbon.

We sit in silence both of us trying to sort through the hundred million emotions that are running through us.

“I don’t know why I thought Jack would come home with us” I said “I just thought that maybe……….he might………”

“What” Sam asked

“Cas” I replied “Sam we can’t leave him in the Empty. We can’t”

“Dean, I don’t know what we can do. We have no heavy hitters left. No Michael, no Billie, no Chuck, but I don’t think that Jack would leave him there” Sam replied

I say nothing. There’s nothing I can say. I know Sam is right.

“Dean, what is it?” Sam asked

I look up at him. Sam is staring at me looking worried. What can he see on my face?

“Sam………….” I stopped, swallowing hard “Sammy, there’s something I didn’t tell you about Cas” I started

“Ok, tell me. Dean you know you can tell me anything. I’m here” Sam said

I put the glass down and scrubbed at my face. The emotions that I had been fighting against, were threatening to overflow and consume me. I had been fighting against them, burying them until we dealt with Chuck. Now there were here, right in my face and I couldn’t ignore them anymore.

I took a deep breath “When Cas and I were trapped in that room, we both thought it was hopeless, until Cas told me about the deal he made with the Empty for Jack’s life. That once he experienced a true moment of happiness, the Empty would come for him. And Cas told me that…………….he knew……………that his true happiness was……………..something he could never have………………..”

I broke off as a sob burst forth from my mouth. Sam stood up suddenly and came around the table to me. Putting both his hands over mine, he whispered “I got you Dean, take your time”

Squeezing Sam’s hands I took another deep breath and I recited the words that Cas told me, I knew them off by heart even though I heard them only once, such was the mark they made on my soul.

He said “When Jack was dying, he made a deal to save him, the price was his life, when he experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take him forever”

“I asked him why he was telling me this now and he said,

“I always wondered ever since I took that burden that curse, I wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like, and I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, is something I know I can’t have, but I think I know, I think I know now, happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being, it’s in just saying it, 

I know, I know how you see yourself Dean, you see yourself the same way our enemies see you, you’re destructive, you’re angry and you’re broken, your Daddy’s blunt instrument, and you think hate and anger, that’s, that’s what drives, that’s who you are, it’s not and everyone who knows you, sees it, everything you’ve ever done, the good and the bad, you’ve done for love, you raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love, that is who you are, 

You are the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless loving human being I will ever know

You know ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me, because you cared, I cared,  
I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you, you changed me Dean,”

I broke off, barely able to breath. Sam squeezed my hands, but I couldn’t look at him, if I did, I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish.

“Then I asked him ‘Why does this sound like a goodbye? and he said “Because it is”

And then he told me he loved me”

I had to stop again, to try and breathe…………..

“Sammy………….he put his hand on my shoulder and told me goodbye…………….then he pushed me out of the way …………………..and…………………and smiled while the Empty took him”

I broke down crying. I cried like I never had before and through it all my brother held me and cried with me.

After an age it seemed, I detangled myself from my brother’s arms. I was too spent to be embarrassed and anyway this was Sam, who always saw more in me than I knew, and so did……………Cas.

I looked at Sam and he was looking at me thoughtfully, like he was trying to figure something out but all he said was “You didn’t know?”

Surprised I asked, “You did?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure, but I suspected” Sam replied

I just nodded my head. Sam was still looking at me the same way when he spoke “You feel the same way, don’t you?”

I couldn’t speak but my face told him everything.

“I’m so sorry Dean”

Sam half carried me to my room. I felt like I had gone ten rounds in the boxing ring. 

When I got to my room, I kicked off my boots and got under the covers still fully dressed, I was asleep in minutes.

I wasn’t sure when my dreams receded, and I got the impression I wasn’t alone. I opened my eyes and tried to adjust to the darkness. There, at the end of the bed stood a figure. I sat up quickly and a voice I thought was gone forever said,

“Hello Dean”

“Cas, is that you?” I asked and the figure stepped closer to the bed.

“Yes, it’s me, but I can’t stay long” Cas replied

“How, how did you get here, what happened with the Empty? Cas please……..” I stumbled over the words such was my shock at seeing him here.

Cas sat down on my bed wearing the crumpled blue suit, loose blue tie and white shirt, but he wasn’t wearing his statement trench coat. He looked beautiful, he looked like Cas.

I detangled myself from the bed covers and sat at the end of the bed beside him.

Cas looked at me and said “Jack saved me. He rescued me from the Empty and asked me to help with his plans for Heaven”

“That’s great Cas” I said “You’re back and we can………… I stopped at the look in Cas’s eyes.

“No Dean, I’m not back. One of Jack’s new policy’s is no more interference with Earth. My job is in Heaven and that is where I will stay”

“But why………… Cas I don’t understand man” I asked, “If no more interference, then why are you here?”

Cas’s eyes softened and said “I heard you telling Sam, I heard you cry, I heard your prayers”

My face drained when I realised what he meant. While I cried in Sam’s arms, in my mind I begged Cas to come back to me over and over.

“Jack has allowed me this one visit, Dean, to let you know that I am safe and well and for us both to say goodbye properly this time” Cas said

I stared at him like I couldn’t believe the rug was being yanked under my feet a second time.

“No, this isn’t fair. Its not fair Cas. Dammit” I yelled

“I’m sorry Dean, maybe I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t think……..” Cas trailed off

“What Cas, you didn’t think I felt the same way, you didn’t think this is fucking killing me” I replied angrily 

Cas looked stunned “You do………feel the same way”

“Dammit Cas……………yeah I do” I replied wearily dropping my head onto my chest.

When I felt the hand on my shoulder I looked up and Cas was smiling such a beautiful smile.

“I didn’t dare believe to think you would feel the same way. I would have been happy to be your best friend for the rest of our lives, but this……. Dean” Cas said

“Cas, I can’t lose you” I said “Not again”

“Dean you will never lose me, but I need you to promise me something. Please say you’ll promise” Cas begged in earnest.

I looked at him and I couldn’t refuse him anything “Yes, of course Cas, I promise”

Turning us both on the bed to face each other, Cas put his hands on my shoulders and said “Live, Dean Winchester. Live your life free from interference. Live your life with Sam at your side. Take that holiday on the beach and put your toes in the sand. Get a pet. Get a job. Get a life. I’m not going anywhere Dean. I will be waiting, because you are worth wating for.

“Live, for me Dean because I love you” and he bent forward and leaned his forehead against mine. 

When I woke the next morning, the events of the night before came rushing back. I wasn’t even sure if I hadn’t dreamed it all but the lightness in my heart told me it was real. Cas was safe and more importantly, he knew he was not alone, and that I loved him.

Over breakfast I told Sam the whole story. He looked worried at first for me but could soon see how relieved I was over Cas, that first and foremost he was safe and secondly, that he knew I loved him.

“C’mon” I said to Sam “We have something we need to do”

Puzzled, Sam followed me out past the map table and up the steps to the research room. There I took out my pocketknife and carved Castiel’s name into the table beside Sam, Moms and my initials. When I was done, I handed the knife to Sam and he carved Jacks name there too. Our Family. 

After we were done, we sat on the table, beers in our hands and toasted to everyone we lost along the way.

“Here’s to going where the story takes us” Sam said

We clinked bottles and I said “Finally free”  
FIVE YEARS LATER

I remember someone once telling me that each of us has our expiration date written on our bodies in invisible ink. No one knows when that day comes.  
I certainly didn’t expect it when mine was up. That something so random, as a push would have me impaled on a piece of rebar.

I did what Cas asked me to do. I rested, I worked, I got a dog, I dug my toes in the sand with Sam there beside me. I tried to make him proud. I tried to make myself proud. And I did, I think.

I’m glad I got to tell Sam some stuff before I went. I was glad he was with me. I hated leaving him, but I was glad I went first. I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t, I swear.

Standing at the base of the most beautiful vista I had ever seen, I realised where I was “At least I made it to Heaven”

A voice behind said “Yep”

Turning in surprise, I saw Bobby sitting on the porch of a cabin “What memory is this?” I asked

Bobby laughed “It ain’t you idjit”

I sat with Bobby as he told me about all the changes made to Heaven.

I asked “Jack did all that? to which Bobby replied “Cas helped”

Hearing his name, I smiled but my heart leapt in my chest. The need to see him nearly overwhelmed me. For five years I lived my life, knowing I would see him again someday and I managed to be patient but now the time was here. My time. Our time.

Spotting the Impala, I told Bobby I was taking a drive. 

On the road I didn’t know where I was going, but yet I did. Nothing was familiar but yet everything was. 

Driving through this beautiful countryside, I could see water between the trees and as I drove, I could see a lone figure standing by the lake. I turned automatically and stopped the car.

Hands shaking, I got out of the car, not even sure if my legs would support me. The figure standing by the lake was wearing a blue suit and had dark hair. As I approached him, he turned towards me and smiled

“Hello Dean”

“Cas” I whispered walking into his arms, and I was home.

45 YEAR LATER EARTH TIME

“Dean, its time”

I looked at Cas. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Cas threw me the keys of the Impala and said “Go get him and bring him home”

I ran to the car and drove until I knew where to stop. A bridge Cas and I had drove over many a time on our travels to friends and family.

Now our family was going to be complete. 

I parked the car in the middle of the bridge, and I waited.

Not soon enough I felt him behind me. 

“Hey Sammy” I said before turning to look at him

“Dean” Sam smiled and then my baby brother was in my arms and all was perfect in my world.


End file.
